beat iiiiit

Hey.
i just got back after watching "This is it" at the movies. It was pretty weird and cool to see everything Michael Jackson and his crew did to prepare for the concerts he was meant to have in London. I myself am a big fan, he was someone i listened to as a child (3-4 years old) and already then started liking him. I wanted to see him live but now that's never going to happen, which is sad. I can't imagine all the pain his blood fans are feeling.. Seeing "This is it" REALLY showed what a great musician he was, and oh what a perfectionist. He had such a good heart, and I don't believe for a second that he did any of those things he was accused of doing, and he said one thing before it ended, something like "we don't love enough", which is very true. People are so cruel to eachother, I sure have noticed.
May he RIP!
-Cfg

decided!

Hi!
The change i did with my hair (..wrote about it a few days ago) is that i got some clips, and i'm gonna dye it black! So i guess that's change enough! It is rather dark now but not black-ish at all, and that's what i'm gonna do!
Have a gooood night! I love you!
-Cfg

denial

haaair

I'm having all sorts of ideas about things i want to do with my hair. As some of you may know i'm a brunette, i would say boring brunette (my hair) because it's just one simple brown color, no highlights, no nothing, very simple. It's not too long but i guess it's long enough but i'd like it to be longer.. (clips can fix that!) so i guess that's no problem at all. I've done tons of crazy stuff with my hair in the past, i've gone from having totally purple hair to blonde to ginger to red to pink to black.. you name it. Last i dyed my hair was when i realized that the color was totally messed up and my hair needed a "break" from everything i did to it, so now it is "recovering". And it looks better! But now i'm getting ideas again (oh no).. one is to actually dye it purple again, i know my friends would kill me if i did that, because it wouldn't fit with the rest of my style - AT ALL. So what do you guys think? What should i do with my hair? The first picture below is related to what my hair looks like now ('cept my hair is shorter), the rest of the pictures are ideas i'm having.

flyleaf.

Do you like Flyleaf? Have you heard of them? A good band, indeed! I just wanted to share with you one song in paricular that i can't seem to stop listening to, i've had it on repeat whenever i've been home today, there's just something about this song, can't really explain! if you have spotify then here you go: http://open.spotify.com/track/62egMcjNWRIcUO4APDxD7T
if not: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rWmXBYDFcqg&feature=fvst
Let me know what you think!

the sword is slicing through the question

some of my favorite lines when it comes to lyrics:

"You're such an inspiration for the ways that i will never ever choose to be.."

"What comes is better than what came before, you better run, run to me.."

"On my knees, dim lighted room, thoughts free flow try to consume myself in this.."

"We'll have a chat and a cup of tea and a long lost need to see who's really there, and you'll finally be okay with me, and i'll hear your stories that fill your sad eyes when you had raven hair.."

"Don't regret a thing, and i've got this friend you see that makes me feel like i'm wanting more than i could steal - i'd arrest myself.."

"Instead of stressed i lie here charmed, because there's nothing else to do.."
"I know, the past will catch you up as you run faster.."

"I'm the one to blame - i didn't mean it, your memory will fade - i didn't mean it, you've always had it made - i didn't mean it, i know you feel betrayed - i didn't mean it, i just wanted to get laid - i didn't mean it, you're goddamn immature - i didn't mean it, you act so insecure - i didn't mean it, you hate me now i'm sure - i didn't mean it.."

"Winter is cold, but you're colder still, and for the first time i feel like you're mine, i will share you with the one who will mend what falls apart, and turn a blind eye to the thief of your heart"
"Mad girl, can you believe what they've done to you?.."

"If i am lolita, then you are a criminal, and you should be killed by an army of little girls, the law won't arrest you, the world won't detest you, you never did anything any man wouldn't do, i'm gothic lolita and you are a criminal, i'm not even legal i'm just a dead little girl, but ruffles and laces and candy sweet faces directed your furtive hand, i perfectly understand! So it's my fault? NO!.."

"If you plant yourself here i wouldn't miss you for long, but then comes a day when you leave town, i'm back to the way i was when you weren't around, i know i can't tie you to a leash, but something tells me you'd go further than Greece.."
"Cold silence has a tendency to atrophy any sense of compassion between supposed lovers.."

"I thanked him, can you believe that? sick sick, holding on to his picture, dressing up everyday.."

"Lay beside me, tell me what they've done, speak the words i wanna hear to make my demons run, the door is locked now, but it's open if you're true, if you can undertand me then i can understand you.."

"Not to pull your halo down, around your neck and tug you off your cloud, but i'm more than just a little curious how you're planning to go about making your amends.. to the dead.."
"He was the only boy who ever knew the truth about me, i knew a boy, he left me so ravaged, do you even know the extense of the damage? how did you fall so far? Your whole world is in my hands.."

"reflections meet, the strangest twist upon your lips and disappear the ripples clear and laughing break against your feet and laughing break the mirror sweet so we shall be together..."

and here are some related pictures just for you! :

"The shallow drowned lose less than we"

The Cure is a band i find myself listening to a whole lot, mostly the "Disintegration" album, which in my opinion is the best album they have ever made. As some of you may know a lot of their songs are about a girl that has been a big part of Robert Smith's life (the lead singer) and the lyrics are very deep and some are rather sad, touching and dark. I was listening to Same deep water as you, Last dance, To wish impossible things, Love song, and Pictures of you (a few of their songs) and I realized that judging by the lyrics Robert must have gone through some very tough/special things with this girl, so my point is: who is this girl? And this isn't just when it comes to The Cure, actually, but almost every time i hear a song from a band i like that has to do with a special someone, and the lyrics are deep it makes me wonder who this person is and what on earth happened, most of all; what does he/she look like?
So I've googled it, and obviously Robert is married to a beautiful lady named Mary, they met when they were 14 and got married in 1988 and they still are! Maybe that explains the line in Last Dance where he sings "a woman now standing where once there was only a girl." but are all of these songs about Mary? All i know is that they are still in love, and that they are a perfect couple, you can tell they're meant to be.
Here are some quotes from Robert about Mary:
- do you and Mary have nick-names for each other? if so, what are they?
i call her "m". she calls me anything she wants; it changes depending on what time it is...
- when and how did you propose to Mary?
when we were in miraval recording the "kiss me" album. she thought i was joking!
if you could go back and repeat something you have done in the past, what would it be?
my first dance with Mary.
“My wife Mary. I love her, I adore her. I met her when I was 14 and we took a long time in coming together, giving us that chance, she's my Cindy Crawford”
Here are some pictures of Robert and Mary:
Beautiful, right? I randomly found those photos, but if you visit this site: http://www.picturesofyou.us/mary.htm - you will find a whole lot more pictures of them, until this day. Even Mary's 50th birthday, she doesn't even look 50! Anyway, I suggest you listen to The Cure if you already don't, here is my favourite song by them: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJM2GhkR_RY - enjoy! Leave a comment, don't miss out on good music!! I love you.
-Cfg

go to bed

Why am i still awake? i'm supposed to get up at 5.30! Not good.
I don't feel the least tired, which is another thing that is not good, and i have hardly done anything today, why can't sunday last a little longer than it usually does? And why does my motivation to do the things I want to do starting tomorrow always get less when it's near bedtime? This is rather annoying.
No pictures this time! sorry:( next time i'll make up for it with at least 5 or 6.
I love YOU:)
-Cfg

Sunday is gloomy

Glooomy sunday.
I hate sundays, because for some reason the first thing i think of when i wake up is: "school tomorrow."
I think it's a boring day and the only thing i get to do is to think about what i need to prepare for tomorrow; shower, what clothes to wear, and whatever else there is to worry about for monday, which is also i day i don't like. "Oh she's so negative." well yes she is (when it comes to these two days) :)
But I think there are people that would highly disagree on this matter, would you?
DO let me know why!
-Cfg
oh the irony...

a letter to elise..

Does anyone write letters anymore? I mean, it's cool and all with the whole e-mail and msn and yahoo and you name it, but what about the very personal letters we used to send? Especially years ago. Personally i would love a nice letter with ones own handwriting and whatever else you decide to put in it, rather than a boring e-mail, no matter what it says. Letters are nice, you can keep them forever, they never go away. If you miss the person that sends you the letter you can keep it by your bed and read it at night and/or whenever you so desire, you KNOW that the person that sent it actually touched that piece of paper, put his/her heart in to it and is glad that you're reading it! Maybe it's just me being old-fashioned and actually care about such thing, perhaps some people prefer an e-mail rather than a letter, but i don't and never will. Of course they're only superawesome when you're far away from someone, (other than that they're just awesome). I've seen movies where men are in the military and get letters from their loved ones (girlfriends in particular) and they lay there at night, lonely, and read it and for some reason seeing that in movies always brings me to tears, haha, wow! I really must love letters.

what is your opinion on this?

"No.. i don't think you're human, i think you're an angel, and that's why i can't see you, right?"

someone said that to me yesterday.
angels:

i'm not faithless, just paranoid

Please be nice to anyone you care about, even the least, no one is worth losing over something stupid and whatever temporary problems there are, if you truly want someone they are worth waiting for, don't let anything or anyone get in the way for your happiness, and don't forget about yourself, you are lovely! Check out the pix.
-Cfg

EA

Hello there you lovely little cupcake, how are you feeling? Me? I'm better, knowing the beautiful Emilie Autumn is on spotify now, well, some of her songs, not many of the ones I like the best, but yet there are some i've never heard before that aren't on her CD's that I've got either! Did you know that I have met her a few times? She sure is a delicate little flower and perhaps the most beautiful woman in the world? No, scratch that, she IS the most beautiful woman in the world. You might disagree, but get this; she is a musical genius (not Kanye West, with all do respect.) she is very smart, she writes books and poetry, she is funny! She has survived a lot of rough situations, she is kind to everyone, and best of all she loves me! She said so herself. :) I suggest you check her out before you miss out on some great piece of music, better yet see her live the next time she is some place near YOU! You can start by listening to this song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tpXdNaXYysk . And enjoy the beautiful pictures of her below this text.....:)
-Cfg

close my eyes - brace myself.

Whoever you are remember that you are beautiful and wonderful in your own amazing way, don't anyone ever bring you down (ladies).. and vise versa. Remember that I will love you no matter what.
ALSO.. have a look at the pictures below that caught my attention - beautiful isn't it? Makes you think. (i personally love the last picture the most, because the writing on it is very true!)
-Cfg